Words have power.  When I learned to read as a child, books became like friends providing mystery , sorrow, excitement and comfort.  I was very young when I began writing poetry.  My collection of words were unsophisticated but yet they provided a cathartic experience where I released the difficulties surrounding me in our household and family dynamics.   Even though I had hobbies growing up nothing compared or held as much weight as the magic of creating on paper , stories and impressions of the world around me through writing.  So it is no wonder I chose to study literature at the University of Washington, achieving my BA in English Literature as a young adult.  Later in my 40s I went back to graduate school to acheive my MA in Theology.  But my greatest skills came when I gave birth to my son in 1984.  He was only 27 years old when he died in 2011.

      He wanted to be a writer and left behind instructions to me to write his book, yet I worked with others to make sense of the notes he left behind and I never figured out where to go with it.  Maybe someday his book will come to me and I will be able to do it some justice.  He was a voracious reader and conquered "V" by Thomas Pynchon, a feat greater than climbing Everest.   With intelligence and wisdom and compassion and courage, he lived his life without compromise.  He loved classical music and listening to me play on the Steinway in our living room.  After losing him, I gave up a lifetime of playing the piano because the music was too bittersweet.

      My greatest challenge was to stay alive after he left us.   My amazing husband, David has been my greatest support and without him I am not sure where I'd be.  In those 12 years since Alex's (my son) death, I have learned some and walked some but I realize that others walk this journey also.  One year after he passed, the Sandy Hook shootings took place and I watched the parents who were interviewed with their hearts collectively torn out.  I wanted to fly to them and hug each one and say "you're not alone".  

     Losing a child is unlike any other loss.  It takes a brave soul to stay here and fight it out.. to stay here and live with the memories and the longing and the empty chair.  In this book I refer to the journey as small steps which lead you to a new normal.   If I pontificate, let me know.  

      The book should be published by spring of 2026 and the title is Answering Loss

      You can write to me directly at 

   goldbergleta@gmail.com

      Maybe I cant teach you anything new but maybe this book will serve as a companion in the days ahead.